This Is Obergruppenführer John Smith Again



That redheaded guy says it's too cold to blog right now so he's run away from home to one of those ice sculpture festivals in Quebec which is so gay because there'll be French people there.

I have reclaimed complete control of this blog.

Maybe some of the things in it are true.

I went to elementary school with Winston Churchill, you know.

Who had red hair...

Churchill at the age of 8

Me, John Smith, at the age of 8...



Grade 3...


"Choo choo!"

"Get lost! I'm not playing with a fat, redheaded
boy who thinks he's a train. I'm skinny and
have black hair and blue eyes. All of the
girls in the class are attracted to me so
I only hang around with the two boys
in class who look exactly like me. 
We're playing army."

"Choo choo!"

"Get lost. I'm telling my mom. She's a legal
secretary. I don't know what that is yet. I
figure it has something to do with 
guns and airplanes."

"Choo choo!"

"Why do those Asian kids over there keep
looking at my ass?"

"Choo choo!"

"Maybe I'll start talking to you in grade 4 and
we'll become best friends in grade 5. I make
no guarantees. I'd rather that than be
friends with the skinny redhead 
over there. Not even the
skinny blond guys
talk to him
after..."

"You're right old chap. After the event that
no one must talk about or try to think
about ever again."

"He was friends with a black girl and then
she moved away."

"Noooo! Don't remind me. I'll have to start talking
to him in grade 4 as not to look stupid since
we both have red hair. How will I ever
grow up to defeat fascism if I have
to do something so dastardly."

"Hey! My two friends that looked exactly like
me saw me talking to you so now their
not talking to me anymore. Now 
they're playing army with
average looking skinny
boys."  

"Choo choo!"

"No matter: I am John Smith. I'll re assume
command of the platoon tomorrow after
they've forgotten."

"Choo choo!"

"I just noticed that the girls have stopped staring
at my ass! It doesn't matter. They're girls.
Say, do you know what disease the
girls except for my mom and
sometimes the teacher
are carrying
today?"

"It was mustard gas this morning. Then they
upgraded to Anthrax."

I always suspected that girls, skinny blond boys,
and that skinny redhead had some sort of
sexually transmitted disease because
some of them liked each other
in grade 1"

"I don't know what sexually anything is yet."

"Neither do I. In grade 4 and 5 we have to start
pretending that we like girls that look like
Pamela Anderson."

"Choo choo!"