Heather Mallick May Explode Like Mount Vesuvius Destroying Pompeii!

Somehow Heather Mallick finds gainful employment as a writer for the Toronto Star.

She's like a volcano almost ready to explode. After being the cause of all racism and homophobia when she was a little girl disgusted with boys, she has to write article after terrible article rationalizing why people need to re-elect Justin Trudeau or how mass immigration causes a high force of feminism and LGBT, or she'll go off like Mount Vesuvius destroying Pompeii.

Here's a recent article...

I stabbed a raccoon. With a fork. He was after me, but to what purpose I cannot say, Your Honour, I don’t think food and I hope not sex. He was following me around the garden and I couldn’t shake him off, a not-unfamiliar sensation as I am frequently targeted by obsessives.

I beg your pardon, Your Honour?

“Well, you know raccoons. Toronto’s hairy bĂȘte noir, they’re like teenagers, they do not listen,” writes Heather Mallick. (THE CANADIAN PRESS/ BBC EARTH) A dessert fork.

It was the only weapon I had to hand. How quickly we deteriorate esthetically when no one’s watching. I was at home that day, alone, writing about the melting of the polar ice caps and eating cold soufflĂ© out of last night’s baking dish, the very picture of sloth and gloom in an era of decline...

It goes on.