Karen Wang - Play By Play - Canadian Politics

In a desperate attempt to get more readers to my blog, I had to do some retooling.

Today there's more news on the fiasco going on in the riding of Burnaby South. Justin Trudeau still hasn't called in the army.

But other blogs are already covering all of this.

How can I relay Canadian political news in a way that grabs the reader's attention?

Then I realized everybody hates politics. But they like football...

Welcome to a historical first in how the reporting of Canadian politics is done!

I've taken my own analysis of the situation and will now report on it as if it were a football play by play:

"Welcome to the Ugly Hockey Sweater's coverage of....

...whatever's going on in Burnaby South."

"We're you're two announcers."

"Lot's of political parties on the field today. All
of them fairly liberal."

"Yeah, this is Canada. At least in the NFL you
can like Trump but you're Hitler."

"But Hillary is a bitch."

"She sure is, Tom."

"Right now Karen Wang is running down the 
field. She's flailing her arms around, 
trying to swing the Liberal Party
back to her favour."

"The other candidates of Burnaby South
look on as she reaches the endzone,
where the Liberal Party waits.
She falls to her knees, begging

"It's surprising that the ref isn't even calling
a safe space."

"What gets me, Tom, is that she didn't even
try to become POC allies with the
other candidates. She ran straight
back to Trudeau and the 

"She's trying to create her own safe space
in the endzone but the Liberals aren't
having any of it. They're pushing
Wang away."

"And it looks like Justin Trudeau is crying
and yelling something about how the safe 
space is in all of our hearts."

"And it's been another sad day for
Canadian politics. Maybe we should
just make Karen Wang Prime

And there you go: You won't find another analysis as concise in the Globe and Mail or the National Post.

But here they are, anyway: