How Adolf Hitler Helped Turn America Gay

What guys learned about from the Holocaust is that pretty blond girls were in love with them ever since grade 1.

Once I went on Twitter and saw airhead women making up for the racism that they did by giving examples of how they have too much white privilege over Clock Boy.

Mathew Shephard was beaten up in a homophobic attack. Columbine was committed by Neo Nazis who got picked on by football players.

Am I supposed to believe that Clock Boy isn't really the terrorist who hijacked Pan Am flight 73 in 1986?

What most people remembered about elementary school is contrived.

All of the girls in Clock Boy's grade 1 class wanted him dead because Clock Boy is very ugly.

I hope that didn't sound too offensive.

It's not me who first decided that Clock Boy is ugly; it's the girls.

In fact, the only way that Clock Boy could fit in in grade 2 is if there are other boys in his class who looked exactly like him in which case they'd fit in with each other.

The reason high school yearbooks were in black and white is because by the time I was in grade 3 girls were only in love with Adolf Hitler.

Adolf Hitler as a young man...

When I was in high school ginger jokes weren't a thing yet. Isn't it odd that after we unlearned racism by Holocaust people made jokes about how redheads don't have friends or souls?

On a subconscious-level it was very important for people to know that as white people become a minority more kids that look like Hitler would be born.

Going to school with first generation Asians 
there were very few boys around
that looked like this.

Girls were only attracted to the best-looking boy with blue eyes and dark hair by grade 3 because he was too popular to play with girls, minorities, or boys with freckles.

And my elementary schools Hitler was a lot more average looking than the kids with blue eyes and black hair.

Girls really hated Winston Churchill when he was in grade 2...

Churchill as a young man.

Which caused Churchill to be friends with clock boy and the one future black football player in class.

The Asian boys who were in love with Adolf Hitler because of his piercing blue eyes had to put up with the fact that Hitler and the normal-looking boys from richer families would rather hang around with Churchill or this guy...

Joseph Stalin

...then them.

Before that witch Spielberg came out with the movie, 'Schindler's List,' he did a lot of movies with Asian boys in them.

One of them was, 'Empire of the Sun..."

A rich kid with a dark complexion
surrounded by poor Asians?

Boys are openly attracted to each other when they're in elementary school. That doesn't have anything to do with sexuality. It just means that when a boy like Pearl Jam's Jeremy was in grade 4...

He wanted to be friends with a good-looking boy with a dark complexion because the girls in his grade 2 class had wanted him dead.

It's women who are responsible for all homophobia and racism.

Mathew Shephard was beaten up in a homophobic attack. Columbine was committed by Neo Nazis who got picked on by football players...