Dear Warren Kinsella

I made some money investing in the stock market.

But then I invested in a company called MX Gold.

They've been suspended for a year.

The reason I invested in the stock market isn't because I want to become Adolf Hitler or Dr. Evil and eliminate the state of Israel with a giant laser that circles the globe.

I used to be a Young Liberal: I wouldn't do something like that.

But then stuff like that could always be contracted out. If I was a multi-billionaire I could pay somebody else to build a giant space laser and then forget about it in a pile of paper work.

I'll be like here to the UN: "Israel? Is that that country that's gotten billions of dollars from American tax payers over the past 60 years? And don't they owe Germany an apology for all of the crazy stories about Jews being turned into soap during the war?"

An Israeli did a doc about the Jews being turned into soap myth...

Soaps from Eyal Ballas on Vimeo.

Anyway, seeing as you're a lawyer, after you're through purging Toronto of the Greek/Native-led Nazi Party, I was wondering if you'd help me sue the Waterloo District School Board.

As I told you my classes were funny growing up.

Since Canada has become the oppression Olympics I think I should get in on the act.

I plan to use the money to help children and the elderly.

One day there will be a factory called: 'Baby food und help old people factory,' and its main purpose won't be to make Panzer tanks and Stuka dive bombers to blacken the skies over Hollywood.

I promise.