I Know I Promised Warren Kinsella That After I Get Elected Hitler Of Canada I Wouldn't Gas Too Many People To Death With Zyklon-B, But...


For a while it looked like Jordan Peterson would become the next Hitler of Canada. But he's completely run out of ideas...



After I get elected Hitler I'll be moving the parliament buildings to Quebec on a flat bed truck. It'll just make it easier for me to buy, 'La Fin Du Monde,' that way.


They sell it in corner stores over there.

But then I'll be in my Hitler office doing Hitler things and Warren Kinsella will burst in saying, "Did you just gas 17 million people to death with Zyklon-B?"

And I'll be like here saying I've had a busy Hitler schedule. I was designing Hitler cars and building Hitler buildings.


And then I'll ask, "Don't you, yourself, drive a car invented by Hitler, Warren?"

Adolf Hitler invented Herbie the Love bug.

A few years ago I informed Warren that boys who don't fit in make friends with minorities first. When Wil Smith was in grade 2 he was a lot smaller and less cool. If Wil Smith grew up in Japan he'd be friends with a fat Japanese kid who wore glasses.

Holocaust teaches us that the best-looking white kids with A-averages make friends with Shaun Majumder in grade 2, while you were watching, 'Fresh Prince of Bel Air.'

Arguing with people on Reddit I said that I had redhair in grade 1 and some girls were attracted to me but then hated me when I freckled. I was internationally panned by losers who were best friends with girls since a young age. An East Indian guy even told me that he had a lot of white female friends since grade 3.

Recently I was watching a concert from the early 90s on Youtube. Here's the audience...




Holocaust teaches that all of these cool 1994 white people made friends with minorities in elementary school.

Was it a coincidence that after all of the homophobia AIDS created rap music went mainstream in the early 90s?

For some reason a good-looking boy with a bad complexion (green eyes, brown hair, and freckles) shot himself in front of his grade 10 English class and Pearl Jam wrote a song about it.

You could ask Warren Kinsella about that.

When I get elected Hitler of Canada I'm going to be making some changes.


"It is with great regret that I announce a new strain of typhus has broken out due to Allied saturation bombing. Men who think that pretty girls with A-averages loved them ever since grade 3 are most at risk. Please step forward."