Using Alex Trebek And Dr. Evil To Explain Childhood Developmental Psychology

Instead of arguing with brainwashed people on Reddit, I've gotten Alex Trebek and Dr. Evil to argue with each other for me...


Is it possible for a redhead...

to be friends with a boy who looks like this...

in grade 3?

"Oh, I don't know Alex. How do I answer that in the form
of a question?"

"This isn't really Final Jeopardy, Dr. Evil. It's that
Alt-Right blog you started as a platform to
get elected Hitler of Canada in your
goal of taking over the entire
world and killing everyone
who doesn't have blond 
hair and blue eyes."

"Now answer the question!!!"

"Oh, I'm not sure. Um, is the correct answer, 'Yes:
because children are nice?'"

"No, you fucking idiot! The only reason people think 
that they could be friends with each other
in grade 3 is because everyone
else in the class hated
them both at one time
or another."

"I don't think that makes much sense. I thought 
everyone in my grade 5 class got along
with each other. And I must have
been nice to everyone in
grade 3?"

"You stupid fool! Girls in grade 3 make fun of
boys when adults aren't around. The redhead
and the boy with black hair and freckles
will take it out on each other. The
only way they'd be friends is if
 every girl in the class hated 
them both at the same time."

"But...But...I was popular in grade 3. Wasn't I?"

"You were not popular in grade 3! You looked like

"You were so unpopular girls made fun of you
wherever you went."

"That...That. Can't be true. I was friends with
a girl in grade 5."

"Yes. After she got over how disgusting you were
you became friends with her in grade 5."

"But I was best friends with Will Smith when I
was in grade 3."

"Yes. You were best friends with the least popular kid
in the class!"

"But Will Smith was on, 'Fresh Prince?' 
He was cool."

"When you were in grade 3 girls taunted you
wherever you went and when you made
friends with Will Smith it confused
them and they left you alone."

"Could it be that my goal of world domination was
really all about me getting made fun of
by girls and forgetting that that

"Fuck you. I'm going to takeover the entire world 
and kill everyone who thinks Pat Sajak is
a thing."

Women Cause All Wars

In a scene that has been played out in all societies throughout history, Makeem Ambu Jaluba loaded up his machine gun and went out to murder the people of his neighboring village.

If he had been introduced to some York University feminists he might have become the next Stalin who, it's estimated, killed more than 30 million. That's even more than died of typhus during the rain of hellfire that the war monger Winston Churchill unleashed on Germany. You should ask Warren Kinsella about that. He drives a Volkswagen Beetle: The car invented by Hitler. Fucking hypocrite. Doesn't that just make you want to bash your head against the wall?

Anyway, getting back to our feature article...

Teenage girls are a bunch of liberals. It's because they were tormenting bitches when they were younger.

Poor Makeem Ambu Jaluba. When he was 7 a girl accidentally saw him naked so she screamed. Then she told all of her friends about it. Now, after being victorious in several bloody firefights, Makeem is still pissed and he doesn't know why. Maybe if he had a bigger gun he'd get laid more often.

So the next time you meet a feminist who tells you that racism and homophobia are bad, pay a little respect for all the boys that that stupid bitch killed to get to that point.